And just like that yuh girl is 26. I don’t know where the time goes but I do know that it waits on no one. So much so that I’m embarking on my 26th year just like that. As excited as I am for a new blessed year of life I have to stop to reflect on the past one. At the top of 2018, I made a vow to myself that this year will be all about being the person I need to be as opposed to achieving the things I want to accomplished. And some how, along the way, this year’s journey has been just that. A journey that was definitely all about inward self-growth as opposed outward visible growth. During this time I’ve definitely come to the realization that you have to be a ceratin type of person to be successful in any type of way, whether that be emotionally, physically, or mentally. I’ve been thrown many major curve balls this year that has brought me to this point and I’ve gathered so many gems along the way that it’ll be a sin not to share them. So here’s 25 lessons I’ve learnt at 25 in no particular order. I hope your gain something from it.
Photos by Camille Shaw
1. Take control of your life – The biggest lesson I’ve learnt this year is that you and only you are in control of your life. I’ve had a lot of set backs over the past three years, but I’ve learn that I can no longer let those things hold control over my life. Honestly, we are all to blame for the current state of our lives and that was a hard pill for me to swallow but it’s the truth. Yes, unfortunate things happen, and yes they’re often not even your fault, but you’re in control of how you react to those set backs. As hard as it was for me to realize that I’m not as far as I thought I’d be because of me, it was also empowering because it made to realize that I also have the power to shake things up. I learnt that I have the power to change anything into a positive. I have the power to turn things around and make my life look the way I want it to look.
2. I have everything I need and want – Once there’s breathe in my body, I have all the potential to achieve anything. It’s only over when it’s actually over. Sometimes the things we want may look a certain way in our minds and it may appear that we don’t have those things. But if we pay attention, we may find that we actually already have everythng we need and want. It may manifest in a diffrent form than we pictured in our minds, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not there, alive and well.
3. Learn to say no more often – I’ve been practicing saying no a lot more lately and honestly it’s so freeing. Saying no is not always a negative thing. Actually, most of the time, it’s necessary for self preservation and for setting up boundaries. Self sacrifice is not it especially when it doesn’t serve you in any way.
4. Shake things up, do something different – Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is truly insanity. I’ve learnt that when I start feeling stuck or limited, it’s time to do something differently. It can be as simple as taking a new route home, or as complex as developing more healthy habits. Either way, shaking things up every now and then will give you a fresh perspective and new lease of inspiration and motivation for life.
5. Stop being fearlful – Fear literally gets you nothing and will hold you back from a lot of things you’ve planned for or dreamed of. Face your fears in order to get over them. It’s the only way to get to the next level.
6. Be more proactive – Setting goals is great and all, but following through with them is where the real prize is. Ideas and talent is only going to take you so far. You have to put in the work to see the result you want to see.
7. Be patient with your creativity – Creativity comes in waves and developing your creative voice takes time. I’ve learnt be patience with developing my unique style of creativity. It doesn’t happen overnight for anyone so I can’t expect it to happen overnight for me. Now I’m a lot more gentle with my creativity and I know it’s going to take time. I’m no longer in a rush for it to get where I think it needs to be. I’m just letting it unfold as it comes.
8. No idea is a bad idea – Some ideas we brush off as bad ideas because they come to us randomly. But those ideas just don’t come to us out of nowhere. There’s a reason they popped up in our minds. Instead of simply tossing them out, sit with them. Develop your ideas to the point where they turn into something substantial. Sometimes all they need is time and a little bit of thought to turn into something great.
9. Comparision really the theif of joy – As a creative it’s envitable to fall into the trap of comparing your talents or progress with others. But is really is a trap and it doesn’t even make sense to do so. Everyone is on their own separate path so comparing yourself to someone else will just steal your joy, suck the creativity out of you, and take you off your path. As much as you can stop comparing yourself.
10. People are your ROI ( Return on investment) – Learnt this lesson from Gary Vayerchuk who talked about the importance of connecting with people. People move about from company to company, from level to level, and it’s important to stay in contact with them because you never know where they may end up or how that may impact your successs in the long run.
11. Speak up – I tend to let things slide here and there so I’m not down someone’s throat as soon as they do something that doesn’t sit well with me. But I’m learning to address issue as soon as it happens to avoid a build up of annoyances that then becomes overbearing. I’ve learnt that people also respect and appreciate you more when you say how your feel from the jump.
12. Control your media diet – Just like we control what we put inside of our bodies, we also have to control what we put into our minds. That goes for the shows we watch, the people we follow on social media, and the music we listen to. Once something is consumed by the brain it can’t be erased and I’ve learnt to control that intake. I’ve experimented with consuming media that’s not so good vs. consuming media that beneficial and the results are so drastically different. I literall feel drained when I watch nonsense and on the flip side I feel inspired and motivated when I consume something more substantial. That’s why I try my best to only consume media that raises my vibes.
13. Remember who your are – Sometimes we get thrown off by life and it makes us forget our strength. But remembering who I am always bring me back and gives me the extra boost to go again.
14. Reflecting in crucial – This year more than ever I’ve learnt that reflecting is a must. It’s the only way to truly know how you’ve grown and what you still need to work on. Reflecting will also remind you of all the great work you’ve done and everything you have overcome, which is something to be proud of.
15. Growth is a daily thing – We should be growing every single day. Now I look out for the lessons life is trying to teach me everyday so that I can gain something new everyday.
16. Don’t let emotion run you – I’m definitely an emotional person which I like to believe is my super power, but sometimes I allow it to consume me. This year I’ve learnt to have a better handle on them and remind myself that I have the power to feel how I want to feel at any given point.
17. Give yourself more credit – I’m definitely hard on myself and while this can be a good thing because it encourages me to be ambitious, there’s also a downside to it. Sometimes it puts extra pressure on me that’s unnecessary and unhealthy. I’ve learnt to be more gentle with myself and to give myself credit for all the things that I’ve already achieved and have overcome.
18. Let go – You truly can’t receive more until you make space for it. Clear out the unneccsaries and make space for the things you actually want. That applies to physical, mental, or emoitonal space.
19. Sacrifice is evitable – To achieve anything it’s going to take sacrifice. I’ve learnt to stop running from it and sacrifice whatever needs to go in order to get to where I want to be.
20. Discipline is a game changer – Everything requires discipline from consistently completing the simplest tasks to achieving bigger goals. Once discipline is put into practice, you basically become unstoppable. It allows you to put in the work no matter what and that can only have a good outcome.
21. Practice positive self-talk – If someone attempted to tell us half of the negative things we say to ourselves we would not allow it for one second. If someone tried talking badly about someone you care about you wouldn’t let that fly either. So why say negative things to yourself? When I start hearing that negative doubtful voice, I check myself and replace those negative with positives immediately. Positive self-talk is super important because we are already combatting everything the world is throwing at us. We don’t need to be fighting ourselves too.
22. Patience is the name of the game – Everything takes time and the sooner you accept that, the better. This year has definitely tested my patience on all levels but at the end of it I’ve realized that patience is key. When you’re patient in everything that you do, you take a load of stress off of yourself and allow life to just flow. Nothing happens before it’s time, so in the meantime keep a postive attitude and remain patient.
23. You don’t ever get away from doing the work – To achieve anything you have to put in the work. There’s no getting around it. It may seem like you’re getting away from the work, but whatever you put off always finds a way back on your to do list. The only way to get rid of work is do actually do it.
24. Look at yourself in third person – Sometimes it’s easier to be honest with ourselves if we look at ourselves in third person. I use this little trick to give myself advice because let’s be honest, it’s hard to take our own advice. Whenever I need advice on something, I ask myself, “what would you tell a friend to do about this situation?” From there, the answer comes to me and I’m able to handle the situation with clarity. Looking at myself from the third person also helps me come up with new ideas for the blog and any creative projects. I often say to myself, “if In Thing was someone else’s blog, what would you tell them to do with it?” From there I get a bunch of ideas to use. Using this technique has thought me that sometimes you’re so close to something that you can’t see the big picture. Step back and take a look at yourself from a different angle.
25. Be more understanding – None of us have mastered life and we’re all in this thing figuring it out as we go. We all have battles we’re fighting and I’ve learnt to be a lot more understanding and patient with people. Don’t put so much pressure on people to be the way you think they should be or do the things you think they should do. Simply accept people where they are mentally, emotionally and deal with each man according to knowledge. It’ll preserve your peace and save you from a lot of disappointments. But most importantly, being understanding with others will help you be more understanding with yourself.
